La Luz Blog

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Coherent Confident Conversation

Posted : Sunday 21st February

While listening to a TED talk entitled 10 Ways to Have a Better Conversation by Celeste Headlee it occurred to me it was also relevant and sound advice when connecting with horses.

Like she says, all this stuff about looking the person in the eye and nodding to show you are listening is rubbish, completely unnecessary if you actually ARE listening and of courses horses feel this difference even clearer that people do.

The key points are

  1. Don’t multitask, be completely present in the moment.

  2. Don’t pontificate  “ true listening requires a setting aside of oneself “

  3. Use open ended questions so you are open to the reply, truly explore.

  4. Go with the flow,  allow thoughts to come and GO , returning to the moment

  5. If you don’t know say that you don’t know. Conversation should not be cheap ( especially with a horse )

  6. Don’t equate your experience with theirs. Don’t project onto the other.

  7. Try not to repeat yourself.

  8. Stay out of the weeds, be clear and not bogged down by details

  9. Listen – the most important of the list. “ listen with the intent to understand not the intent to reply “

  10.  Be brief – A good conversation is like a miniskirt – short enough to retain interest but long enough to cover the subject.

Have a true interest in the other and prepare to be amazed !!!


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